SOD2: Chronicles Of Confusion DISCONTINUED
by Aito Hitoshirezu
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Strands Of Devastation. Guaranteed to be funnier and more eyebrow raising than the first one! Read and review!


_Aito: Well I'm back, blasted exams...but anyways, since there would be a huge hole between updates if I posted chapter 8 of Strands of Devastation, I've decided to post it as a sequel instead, so here it is; SOD2: Chronicles Of Confusion, enjoy!_

**Chapter 1: Ellipsis**

Naruto simply stared at the Kyuubi, while remembering how it felt when it was summoned.

"I knew it, milk and ramen didn't cause my stomach to spontaneously combust," muttered Naruto as he looked around the large demon fox and took vindictive pleasure in seeing the dumbstruck horror on everyone's faces. It was also at this time that a travelling artist would come across this sight and paint the famous image of a deformed woman's horrified face with her hands to her cheeks.

Kyuubi stared at the villagers. The villagers stared back.

"Draw!" shouted Kyuubi suddenly bringing all nine of his furry tails to attention, however there was one slight problem...

"It's so fluffy and soft!" exclaimed Ino as she was hanging along with 50 other girls from the nine tails. Kyuubi growled and bared his hackles before letting out a loose guttural roar.

"I AM NOT SOFT AND FLUFFY, I AM A DEMON FOX! I AM TO BE FEARED BY ALL! HOW DARE YOU CUDDLE ME!" However his misgivings were unheard, and the girls continued to cuddle the tails. It was at this time that the male villagers also became slightly annoyed.

"It's a fricking fox, why does it get all the girls?" asked one villager out loud.

"I don't know, but I say we should kill it," said a second villager.

"No, we must learn from the fox so we too may have the power of pimping!" cried a third villager. A lot of villagers started nodding at this. Until another issue came to the front which was raised by a fourth villager.

"Wait, but if we're all pimping...then wouldn't that mean there wouldn't be enough girls?" A growing commotion rose up from this comment. The first villager then felt a lightbulb come into existence above his head. However, being in a time where electric light was unnatural, he drew a hammer and smashed it before presenting his idea.

"We shall learn from the fox, THEN we kill the fox. After that, every week one new male in the village will be the village pimp."

"I dibs first!" exclaimed Jiraiya. The second villager glared at him.

"What gives you the right to make yourself the first pimp?" Jiraiya simply held up a copy of Icha Icha Paradise.

"Deny me, and I stop writing this." The males all shivered in fear for their lack of adult material, the poor perverts that they were before the third villager stepped forward slowly.

"So? That book is no match for dozens of girls obeying my every command. Do your worst, but you will NOT BE THE FIRST PIMP, I WILL!" This comment was immediately met with shouting, followed by many flippings of 'the bird', followed by what would probably be a massive fight to the death.

"Couldn't we all just get along?" asked the third villager. Everyone paused at this and actually considered it before they reached a decision.

"NO!" the villager was promptly beaten senseless by everyone within a 20 metre vicinity of him before everyone else started beating each other up.

The nine-tailed fox could only sweatdrop, which was quite a feat considering the fact that foxes don't have sweat glands.

"_Weren't they supposed to kill me?" _thought the fox before continuing to try to swing the girls off of his tails, to no avail. Apparently, girls had strength beyond that of even Tsunade when it came to fluffy objects. The author would later regret typing this, as he would find out after his first day of being a chocolate salesman wearing an Easter bunny suit. But that's also a story for another time.

It was at that point did Kyuubi notice an itching sensation on one of his legs and looked down, only to see Kakashi continuing to hack at his leg like a madman, cackling on and on about how this was one step for him before he would kill Naruto for destroying his precious.

No, it was the object in Kakashi's hands that he was using that Kyuubi focused upon.

A chainsaw.

In an instant, the 500 foot fox was down on the ground in a fetal position, its nine tails over its head. "NO DADDY, DON'T HURT ME!" Naruto returned to his emo attitude.

"What kind of demon are you? Afraid of a tiny chainsaw like that..." started Naruto before noticing that Kakashi was right in front of him, and the chainsaw was an inch from his face.

"Well Naruto, it appears that after this, there will only be 2. After I kill you and Rock Lee, I SHALL BE THE LORD OF THE UCHIHA CLAN! PWHAHAHA!" cackled Kakashi before Naruto bolted screaming like a girl, the jounin chasing right after him.

The fox was continuing to cry while cowering from the chainsaw.

"The reason behind my fear of chainsaws goes back to when I was a baby..."

"Hey where'd the tall blonde go?" wondered Zidane before seeing said blonde hacking through the mob laughing out loud.

"I NEVER GET TO BEAT UP THIS MANY PEOPLE. THIS IS AWESOME!" exclaimed Cloud. Everyone simply stared at him as though he were insane. Then Edward rushed in after him.

"Wait for me!" The first villager that crossed his path simply looked around.

"Eh, wait for who? Oh hello down there. You're a little small to be in a mob fight kid." Edward clenched his metallic arm's fist.

"Oh yeah?" In an instant, the man was down, clutching his privates as Edward was now wielding a hook instead of an arm. Every man froze before looking at the hook, going back to the man and going back to look at the hook again. Then they bolted.

Cloud sighed. "Why do people always run away from me? I'm just like any other person, I love getting into mob fights, but the instant I bring out the sword, everyone's too much of a wimp to fight me. Life sucks." Immediately, Kakashi was at the man's side, handed the blonde a bottle of hair dye and a book before going back to chase after Naruto.

"Eh, what's this? 'How to be a depressed, badass emo' by Kakashi Hatake?" The blonde made to open the book before being stopped by Alphonse.

"No Cloud, don't do it! I sense a disturbance in the Force from that book. It is evil I tell you, EVIL!"

"Oh come on Alphonse, the last time you said there was a disturbance in the Force a little black kitty walked through our front door."

"And that kitty somehow managed to kick your ass, before ripping off your clothes and managed to get your head stuck halfway down a toilet." Everyone simply stared at the blonde at this point, who glared back angrily.

"HEY, THAT WAS A FLUKE, I TRIPPED OVER THAT CAT!" Everyone simply looked away, but not before muttering 'wimp'. At this point Kyuubi was extremely pissed.

"WOULD YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO TELL MY LIFE STORY!"

"Sorry," muttered everyone. Kyuubi calmed down, but still flinched as Kakashi continued to chase Naruto with the chainsaw.

"Now, my story begins in a little cave..." While Kyuubi was beginning his life story, it was when Eiko noticed something.

"Hey guys, that chainsaw is battery operated right?" The other two looked at the chainsaw and nodded; Alphonse was too busy trying to keep the book away from Cloud, who now had black hair and eyeshadow.

"Then what are those?" wondered Eiko pointing to the ground at a pair of cylindrical objects which the other two realized were the batteries for the chainsaw. They looked at Naruto, before looking at the chainsaw, before looking at Kakashi. It was Zidane that voiced the question.

"So, how long do you think it's going to take him to realize the chainsaw isn't on?"

_Aito: So, how was it? Please review. Next chapter: What mysteries will Kyuubi's history reveal? Will Kakashi realize his chainsaw isn't working? Will Naruto ever get his ramen? Can Alphonse stop Cloud from turning to the side of the emo? Find out next time in SOD2: Chronicles Of Confusion  
_


End file.
